Wednesday, August 1, 2012

So Many Books, So Little Time

Yesterday was the worst day.

My Kindle....died.

I don't know how it happened. We went to Austin over the weekend, I read it on the plane and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I sat down in the bathtub excited to finish Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter... (Don't judge me) and..... nothing. Then... white lines took over the screen....

To make things worse I just bought $50.00 worth of Kindle books! I haven't bought a Kindle book since last July... a whole year... and the minute I do my Kindle dies.

Maybe I'm being punished for buying 50 Shades of Grey?

While mourning the loss of my Kindle I decided it was time to invest in a library card, especially since there is a 750,000 square foot library two blocks from my house.

I made my way down to the library feeling a little bit better about my Kindle.

***

Me: Hi. I'd like to get a library card.

Library Dude: Picture ID with proof of Chicago address.

Me: Right... well, I just moved here. I have a Texas ID, and I brought with me a signed copy of my apartment lease, (Is that forward thinking or what?) as proof of re...

LD: We don't accept that.

Me: ...sidence. You don't...?

LD: No. We don't accept apartment leases because someone could go down to Wal-Mart purchase a general lease, copy it, and sign it to falsify residency.

(This seems unlikely since there are about two Wal-Marts in Chicago...but whatever...)

Me: That's sounds like a lot of trouble for a library card.

LD: stares

Me: Ok... well what do you suggest I do?

LD: We will accept a voter registration card, an electric or gas bill with your name and address or a piece of mail postmarked in the last 30 days.

Me: Alright, I'll go home and get some mail.

LD: Or your voter registration card.

Me: Yeah, well like I said I just moved here so I haven't really gotten around to that yet.

LD: stares

Me: Ok, then.

LD: You could mail yourself a letter. It should get there in two days...

Me: stares... Thanks for your help.

***

Later that night...

Lee: Hey, you got a check in the mail!

Me: Ugh! But that has my business name on it, I need a letter with my name... Oh! Hey!... here's one!

Lee: Sooo... why are you more excited about your name than money?

.....

Me: So then he was all, "Or your voter registration card..."

Lee: You should have told him you don't believe in democracy...

Me: Ha. Yeah. But I mean who would go through the trouble to falsify a lease for a library card?!

Lee: Keely.... Knowledge. Is. Power.



***

Today, after carrying a box to the library, (because it was the only piece of mail of mine that had my name and a 30 day post mark on it) getting a lecture on the importance of protecting my library card... from different librarian... (who wore white gloves by the way...strange..) I am the proud owner of a Chicago public library card!

Victory.