Thursday, August 23, 2012

No Title... Too Tired for Titles

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That felt good.

So. Irritated.

What I thought was going to be a night of wine, grilled cheese and bad 90's movies has turned into a nightmare....

I have a leaking wine fridge. (Ok... so not really a nightmare... but super annoying, especially since I have friends coming to visit tomorrow.)

This would happen when Lee is out of town.

Our wine fridge has been making this terrible noise for over a month now. I figured out that if I flip the breaker, wait a few minutes then turn it back on the noise isn't so bad... for awhile... then it starts up again.

Well, it was extremely annoying this afternoon, I kicked it a few times... when that didn't work, I flipped the breaker... then I forgot. A couple hours later when I realized the power was still off in the entire kitchen I turned it back on, and there was a puddle under the wine fridge.

Oh. Great. I kicked it and now it's leaking.... awesome.

I decided I would try to fix it.

I sat there on the floor staring at the open refrigerator...

Then I imagined myself getting electrocuted and Lee finding my charred body when he got home on Sunday afternoon.

That would be tragic...

But it's not as easy as just unplugging it because the outlet is built in under the kitchen counter, and you can't unplug the wine refrigerator without taking apart the counter. And I can't leave the breaker off because it is responsible for the main fridge.... (Ugh... what do they call this? Rich, white girl problems? Anyway...)

The last two hours have gone something like this...

10:00 pm - Find water on the floor
10:01 pm - Smell it to make sure it's not pee...
10:02 pm - It's not... Wipe up water
10:07 pm - Am I crazy? No... no the puddle is back.... this is bad.
10:10 pm - Stare at open fridge trying to think of something intelligent to do.
10:11 pm - Think of nothing...
10:15 pm - Google - "why is my fridge leaking?"
10:17 pm - Find out that it's probably frozen... and needs to be defrosted... (Defrosted? What is this 1952? I didn't even know there were still refrigerators that weren't frost free...)
10:36 pm - Finish reading the refrigerator Wikipedia page... fascinating...
10:40 pm - Locate tools
10:43 pm - Attempt to remove faux column from counter in order to unplug fridge. Use various screw driver bits, hammer and banging with fist to finally remove the damn thing.
10:55 pm - Find out I removed wrong column.
10:55 pm - Cuss.... a lot...
11:02 pm - Replace column, remove the next one...
11:20 pm - Unplug wine fridge
11:23 pm - Watch very unhelpful YouTube video on the matter
11:40 pm - Attempt to use hair dryer to defrost fridge
11:45 pm - Blow a fuse
11:45 pm - Cuss.... a lot...
11:55 pm - Decide to boil water instead

Which bring us up to speed... it's midnight... and I'm too tired to deal with these shenanigans...
I'm even too tired to think of a way to end this post... so, I'll deal with this in the morning.






Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Madea Goes to Chicago

Lee and I had our first Chicago Parks Golf experience last weekend. Lee has only been golfing out in the 'burbs since we got here, so he was skeptical.

His skepticism proved valid when we pulled into the neighborhood and saw this sign....


Rule #1: No selling drugs??

Huh. I thought selling drugs was actually against the law and not just "Respect"... weird.

Upon entering the golf course we came across a wedding complete with elaborate dresses, large church hats and The Jackson Five playing mid-ceremony.

On the course we were privy to a music festival where we heard things like... "Praaaaaise Jeeeeesuuuuus!" and "Goooood bless the south side! Goooood bless the west side!"

***

Lee: I feel like we walked into a Tyler Perry movie...

Me: Exactly.

***

Then... on hole 5, I hurt my back because apparently I'm 27 going on 70 and couldn't finish the round.

But on the plus side, as we trekked back to the car... we got to see the ghost of Ray Charles, smoking pot in the parking lot. (Seriously.. looked just like him. Plus he was wearing all white. White shoes, white pants, white shirt, white jacket, white tie, white sunglasses...)

Selling it? Against the rules... Smoking it? (In the church parking lot) No problem...

It was all too much so we went for margaritas...

I seriously hope my back gets better because I cannot wait to go back.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

So Many Books, So Little Time

Yesterday was the worst day.

My Kindle....died.

I don't know how it happened. We went to Austin over the weekend, I read it on the plane and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I sat down in the bathtub excited to finish Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter... (Don't judge me) and..... nothing. Then... white lines took over the screen....

To make things worse I just bought $50.00 worth of Kindle books! I haven't bought a Kindle book since last July... a whole year... and the minute I do my Kindle dies.

Maybe I'm being punished for buying 50 Shades of Grey?

While mourning the loss of my Kindle I decided it was time to invest in a library card, especially since there is a 750,000 square foot library two blocks from my house.

I made my way down to the library feeling a little bit better about my Kindle.

***

Me: Hi. I'd like to get a library card.

Library Dude: Picture ID with proof of Chicago address.

Me: Right... well, I just moved here. I have a Texas ID, and I brought with me a signed copy of my apartment lease, (Is that forward thinking or what?) as proof of re...

LD: We don't accept that.

Me: ...sidence. You don't...?

LD: No. We don't accept apartment leases because someone could go down to Wal-Mart purchase a general lease, copy it, and sign it to falsify residency.

(This seems unlikely since there are about two Wal-Marts in Chicago...but whatever...)

Me: That's sounds like a lot of trouble for a library card.

LD: stares

Me: Ok... well what do you suggest I do?

LD: We will accept a voter registration card, an electric or gas bill with your name and address or a piece of mail postmarked in the last 30 days.

Me: Alright, I'll go home and get some mail.

LD: Or your voter registration card.

Me: Yeah, well like I said I just moved here so I haven't really gotten around to that yet.

LD: stares

Me: Ok, then.

LD: You could mail yourself a letter. It should get there in two days...

Me: stares... Thanks for your help.

***

Later that night...

Lee: Hey, you got a check in the mail!

Me: Ugh! But that has my business name on it, I need a letter with my name... Oh! Hey!... here's one!

Lee: Sooo... why are you more excited about your name than money?

.....

Me: So then he was all, "Or your voter registration card..."

Lee: You should have told him you don't believe in democracy...

Me: Ha. Yeah. But I mean who would go through the trouble to falsify a lease for a library card?!

Lee: Keely.... Knowledge. Is. Power.



***

Today, after carrying a box to the library, (because it was the only piece of mail of mine that had my name and a 30 day post mark on it) getting a lecture on the importance of protecting my library card... from different librarian... (who wore white gloves by the way...strange..) I am the proud owner of a Chicago public library card!

Victory.