Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Princess and the Pea

After sleeping on what has got to be the hardest mattress in the world, for over a year and a half now, I had to put my foot down.

There are two things in this world I can't live without... good food, and proper sleep.

I must be fed every three hours. Once my blood sugar gets too low I can't be held responsible for what I might say or do. It's a genetic thing... I'm sure of it... my family is the same way. At restaurants one might hear rude remarks aimed at sluggish waitresses, but that is nothing compared to the riots and wars that have occurred prior to family dinners in the privacy of one's home.

Moral of the story?

Feed me, and nobody gets hurt.

Secondly, without proper rest I cannot function. Lack of sleep cuts my productivity in half, and just when we thought it couldn't get any lower... shocking, I know.

When we first got here, and I complained about the mattress, Lee scoffed at me claiming I was like the Princess and The Pea.

I rolled my eyes.

I should have reminded him that in the end of that fairy tale the Prince rejoices to have found a true princess with such sensitivity. After which, he probably removed the pea, or went out and got her a new frickin' bed!

It wasn't until recently, when I was awake for two weeks straight from jet lag, that I noticed how poorly Lee sleeps; tossing and turning all night long. It was this new bit of information that helped him see the light. Not to mention the fact that we could now make out two distinct body imprints on either side of the mattress. Finally, he relented.

We went to the home store at the mall, where we were followed around by a gaggle of employees. Each time we sat on a different mattress there were giggles before all 10 of them followed us to the next one. (And no, 10 is not an exaggeration. There were at least 10.)

After we made our selection we learned that a same day delivery was impossible and we would have to wait until next week.

This was not acceptable... but seeing as how it was an impossible task for The Green Machine... there was only one other option.

The princess got her way, and she slept happily ever after.