Monday, July 19, 2010

I Do Not Speak French

Dear St. Tropeziennes,

I do not speak French. My French vocabulary includes the following:

Hello... bonjour

Goodbye... au revoir

Thank you... merci

Please... s'il vous plait

I do not speak French... Je ne parle pas francais

Do you speak English?… parlez-vous anglais?

And various foods because let's face it… a girl’s got to eat.

My 15-year-old cousin has been giving me French lessons over breakfast. I can say with complete certainty he is only teaching me inappropriate phrases, as he will teach me the words but will not, in fact, tell me what they mean.

Please do not be alarmed when a clueless American girl, says “Good Morning Mother F^&#*@!”

It is so not my fault.