Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Terrible Punishment

My neighbors are punishing me, and I don't know why.

It could be because I write blog entries about them...


But whatever the reason, nobody deserves to be subjected to the head splitting, ear bleeding karaoke that permeates from the house across the street. Starting at about... I don't know... seven-o'clock-in-the-morning!

It started a couple months ago when school let out for the summer.

It was a typically peaceful Wednesday morning... sun shining... birds chirping... all that crap.

And then the screeching started...

I ran outside to see what animal lie dying in the middle of the street, only to find it was my neighbors and their new karaoke machine.

Me: Hmmm... well this is going to be an interesting morning...

That interesting morning... turned into an "interesting" day.

At one o'clock in the afternoon the karaoke was still going strong, and I had visited every room in the house hoping to seek a silent refuge. Nowhere was safe.

It was at this point I started wishing for a brown-out... and searching for sharp objects to stab in my ears.

And still the karaoke continued... You would think they would stop for lunch... bathroom breaks... hoarse voices... something! No luck.

Some of the stand out performances included:

- Frank Sinatra's, My Way... I was fortunate enough to hear five different versions... a performance by each member of the family... "Pitchy," to say the least.

- Simple Plan's, Perfect... the "perfect" song to be sung by a small child, "I'm saaaaawweeyyy I can't beee puuuuuwwwwfect." Awesome.

- Gloria Gaynor's, I Will Survive... a karaoke classic no matter which country you live.

- Jackson 5's, I'll Be There... a special Tagalog version, it just wasn't the same...

And the most bothersome song of all?

- Lady Gaga, Bad Romance... sung by a group of children ranging in ages from 7-13... Something about a seven-year-old screaming, " I want your psycho, your vertical stick... baby your sick... I want your loooove!" is very very disturbing.

I thought once school started back up again I would get some reprieve...

... And I will admit the week days are quieter now, except for when mom & dad belt out a love song or two. It appears now Saturdays and Sundays are now reserved for their family karaoke concert series. Which means you can find me locked up in my room, with my fancy orange ear plugs.

Only in the Philippines can your neighbors sentence you to "death by karaoke."