Sunday, May 23, 2010

A Little Light

Me: When we go to Alabang today, remind me to get a scale.

Lee: We already have a scale.

Me: Yeah, one that sucks. I want a good scale.

Lee: We have a perfectly good scale.

Me: I want a digital one.

Lee: Why? So you can see if you are two-tenths of a pound lighter than the day before?

Me: Precisely.

***

Me: Umm.. the new scale is broken...

Lee: Hmm...

Me: Yeah, it's saying I weigh one pound...

Lee: That figures. You spent $50 on a scale and it doesn't even work.

Me: Yeah, and it was made in New Mexico... I can't even blame it on the Philippines.

***

Me: Hi, yeah... I bought this scale here.. and it's broken. It says I weigh one pound... and obviously I don't... that's not even flattering. So, can I exchange it for a new one?

S&R Girl: Ok, yes Ma'am.

Me: Thanks.

S&R Girl: Ma'am, you try this one.

It's at this point when all five of the people trying to help, huddle around me lean in to read the scale.

Me: Sooo... you're all going to watch huh?

They smile and nod.

This is a woman's worst nightmare right? They might as well have projected it on the wall behind me, or announced it over the loud speaker. But I'm a trooper... Seeing as how I have apparently lost much fat.

Me: Fine. Hold my purse... I don't need the extra ten pounds.

***

Me: So... I exchanged the scale today... but I think this one is still a little light. I mean not that I'm complaining... but...

Lee: Yeah... I haven't weighed this since high school.

Me: Oh, well. That's great if it says I weigh a few pounds lighter than I really am.

Lee: So wait... you bought a new scale that doesn't work, but you like it because it says you weigh less than you really do.

Me: *smile*

Lee: That's ridiculous. You should have just paid me fifty bucks. You can stand on me and I'll tell you what you want to hear.

Me: Rude.