Me: When we go to Alabang today, remind me to get a scale.
Lee: We already have a scale.
Me: Yeah, one that sucks. I want a good scale.
Lee: We have a perfectly good scale.
Me: I want a digital one.
Lee: Why? So you can see if you are two-tenths of a pound lighter than the day before?
Me: Umm.. the new scale is broken...
Me: Yeah, it's saying I weigh one pound...
Lee: That figures. You spent $50 on a scale and it doesn't even work.
Me: Yeah, and it was made in New Mexico... I can't even blame it on the Philippines.
Me: Hi, yeah... I bought this scale here.. and it's broken. It says I weigh one pound... and obviously I don't... that's not even flattering. So, can I exchange it for a new one?
S&R Girl: Ok, yes Ma'am.
S&R Girl: Ma'am, you try this one.
It's at this point when all five of the people trying to help, huddle around me lean in to read the scale.
Me: Sooo... you're all going to watch huh?
They smile and nod.
This is a woman's worst nightmare right? They might as well have projected it on the wall behind me, or announced it over the loud speaker. But I'm a trooper... Seeing as how I have apparently lost much fat.
Me: Fine. Hold my purse... I don't need the extra ten pounds.
Me: So... I exchanged the scale today... but I think this one is still a little light. I mean not that I'm complaining... but...
Lee: Yeah... I haven't weighed this since high school.
Me: Oh, well. That's great if it says I weigh a few pounds lighter than I really am.
Lee: So wait... you bought a new scale that doesn't work, but you like it because it says you weigh less than you really do.
Lee: That's ridiculous. You should have just paid me fifty bucks. You can stand on me and I'll tell you what you want to hear.