Nail Lady: Hello Ma'am! I'm so glad you came back
Me: Oh, well thanks. You did a great job last time.
Nail Lady: You gained weight since last time I saw you.
Me: What?
(Obviously, there is a bit of a communication problem. I've lost a whole three pounds since New Year's. Misunderstanding... no big deal... try again.)
Nail Lady: I think you gain weight since last time you here.
Me: Ha!
(Well, I think that's a pretty ballsy statement.... but more importantly, I think you just cut your tip in half!)
Note: Flattery and compliments will get you everywhere... lie if you must.