Sunday, January 10, 2010

Breaking in the New Year

The Green Machine has sustained an injury.

Sad, but true...

New Year's Eve:

3:00 p.m. - The hotel staff finds us by the pool to tell us that our car alarm has been going off. Soooo glad Lee bought that alarm...

Five minutes later... the alarm is off.

8:00 p.m. - The hotel staff calls our room to let us know that our car's brake lights are on.
I swear our car is possessed.

Twenty minutes later... I'm still in the room, and there is no sign of Lee.

Me: Hmmm... maybe he made friends at the bar... - look out the window... no Lee. Well, maybe he decided to go out to the pool... - look out the window... no Lee. Maybe he got hungry... no that's not it... he knows better than to eat without me... Hmmm... maybe, it was all just a conspiracy and he got kidnapped by the hotel staff!!!

(I always do that... weird... I know... I'm slightly paranoid.)

Ooooor maybe, he got bit by a vampire!

(And... I'm way too involved with the Twilight saga to think clearly and I should quite possibly seek psychiatric treatment...)

Ten minutes later, when I'm almost certain someone beat him over the head and stuffed him in the trunk of our car, I go to look for him. He meets me on the staircase...

***

Me: There you are... I was just coming to look for you... I thought maybe you been kidnapped or bitten by a vampire.

Lee: *He just stares at me* (He's probably really over the vampire thing by now...)

Me: What?

Lee: Well... there's an issue...

Me: What did you do...?

Lee: Well, the cars out there... the brake lights are on... and the doors are locked... and...

Me: What?

Lee: ... the keys are inside.

Me: Fantastic...

Lee: And... the car is running... Apparently, the car thinks the brake is on, so the brake lights are on... and when I turned on the car, and shut the door... it automatically locked. The hotel owner and three other guys are out there trying to help me... but I'm pretty sure we are going to have to break a window.

Me: Sweet! Come and get me if you do!

***

I'm not a huge fan of "The Green Machine," for a few reasons...

1. It's green. Cars should really only come in a few colors... green is not one of them.

2. The car came complete with ants. Yeah, that's right... just like my kitchen sink... the ants have also made a home in the car. How do you even get an ant infested car? I don't even want to know what was in that car before we bought it. The ants made a home under the back seat... at first Lee thought I was crazy, when I would count the ants in the car. Then we put a heavy suitcase in the back seat and the ants swarmed it... it was disgusting.

3. It's a manual. And although I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of driving a stick... I just know I'm going to be in the middle of traffic, and the car will lurch forward and hit a tricycle filled with people, or a stray dog.

So... I have secretly been wishing for The Green Machine's demise.

***

Me: Well, on second thought... I'm busy... so never mind. (Actually, I was watching last season's American Idol, and we already know who won... so not that busy after all...)

Twenty minutes later...

Lee: We did it. We broke the back window... I even made a "Lee" comment...

Me: Oh?...

Lee: Yeah, after we shattered it I said, 'Well, that's one way to break in the new year...' ha!"

Me: oh... no...
***

The Green Machine's new band-aid


"Keep Cool"
(There's nothing cooler than that...)