Leaving the chip aisle at the grocery store...
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I know... I know...
Monday, October 25, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, I went to the hospital for a preventative health screening. And when it comes to preventative health, the Filipinos leave no stone unturned; or to put it in a literal term, no orifice unchecked.
Monday, October 18, 2010
My Mom: What are you doing?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Lee and I went to Hong Kong and Macau last weekend. And while we had a great time not much happened which I consider blog worthy. I did however take my usual notes, which I'll just recreate here... I really am becoming quite the lazy blogger.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
After sleeping on what has got to be the hardest mattress in the world, for over a year and a half now, I had to put my foot down.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Walking through the hardware store today, I suddenly became very aware of the music that was playing...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I've been back in the Philippines for a week. And I had planned on writing about more fun with Frenchies, or at least updating people on the fact that I made it back to the islands, but... I'm sick.
So now I'm on Web Md...trying to diagnosis myself.
And since I'm bored... and because Mr. Bigg is tired of listening to me... I'm taking everyone on my little symtom checker adventure.
Thrilling... I know.
WebMd.com... Symptom checker... Female...
Hmm... possible symptoms...
Bleeding from nipple?!? Ha! If I was bleeding from my nipples do you really think I would be asking the internets for advice? That's an ER visit.
Hmmm... no. no. no.
Hacking... (cough cough) kind of. I'll say yes.
White or pink sputum? What the hell? No.
Maybe I'm not as sick as I thought...
Pain or discomfort.. duh.
- Localized to breast nipple? No... What is the deal with WebMd and nipples?
Sharp or stabby... Ha... I always feel stabby.
Pressure or heaviness... Yep.
Ok.. enough of that.. on to the throat.
Choking on food? Again... not looking to WebMD if I'm choking..
Enlarged or swollen glands... Check....
Associated with a cat scratch, lick or bite? Eww... No, but that would be one more reason to hate cats.
Hoarse voice... Yes... sounding very manly.
Involuntary head turning or twisting?!? OMG! That would freak me out. No.
Sore throat? Yes!
How severe... hmmm... moderate. But only because they don't give me an option between moderate and severe... something like, "it hurts pretty freakin bad, but I'm trying not to be too dramatic."
Spots on tonsils... check... white... check.
So... according to WebMd I could have anything from viral pharyngitis or strep throat to tuberculosis or lung cancer.
I sure am glad we really narrowed that down...
Either way, I'm going to take large doses of cold medicine and get back in bed to finish my Bachelorette marathon. Because being hopped up on cold meds is really the only way to deal with the melodramatics of reality TV.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Yesterday I was shopping in St. Tropez. I got to talking with one of the local shop ladies about being here in France.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Dear St. Tropeziennes,
I do not speak French. My French vocabulary includes the following:
Goodbye... au revoir
Thank you... merci
Please... s'il vous plait
I do not speak French... Je ne parle pas francais
Do you speak English?… parlez-vous anglais?
And various foods because let's face it… a girl’s got to eat.
My 15-year-old cousin has been giving me French lessons over breakfast. I can say with complete certainty he is only teaching me inappropriate phrases, as he will teach me the words but will not, in fact, tell me what they mean.
Please do not be alarmed when a clueless American girl, says “Good Morning Mother F^&#*@!”
It is so not my fault.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Americans should really not even try to greet each other like the French.
Is the whole “double cheek kissing” business complicated? Or is it just me?
Either way, first day in France and I nearly kissed two different men on the lips. (Sorry Lee, both accidents… I swear.)
Mostly, I screw it up.
The worst was when it was me and another American… we really should have just shook hands… but you know, “When in France…” Mistake.
I’m all… “ok left, no right, right? Or left, left, right left, left, right. Which way is he going?!” There was a moment of panic right before we almost kissed on the lips. Then he says, “Well, that was a close one. Your husband would have been mad at me!”
Wow… That. Is. Mortifying.
Note: If you want to “bisous” then fine… but from now on you can kiss me on the cheeks, but I’m not moving.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
After a week in France I have finally emerged from the fog, and now deemed myself capable of putting words into sentences for a blog entry. Jet-lag really takes a toll on me, that... or my body will use any excuse for a good nap.
It’s the rainy season in the Philippines and Lee is working constantly so I thought it the perfect opportunity to come stay with my Aunt D in the south of France.
I’m not sure I’ll have as many “misadventures” in a place as lovely as this, but if nothing else I can brag to you about my fabulous life in St. Tropez.
My flight over was pretty uneventful, (which is always good on 14 hour flights) and I’ve come to accept the fact that I will always have complaints about whom I sit by on the airplane.
I, of course, am the perfect traveling companion. I keep all my bodies parts in the space provided, I do not hog the arm rest, and I do not blare the music in my headphones so loudly that people next to me are forced to rock out to my tunes.
I like the window seat, so I will not be sleeping on you, and/or drooling on your shoulder. I very rarely snore, and I only ask you to move so I can go to the restroom if I really have to go.
Also, I won’t talk to you. I’ll mind my own damn business and not ask you questions about where you’re going or what you do. Frankly, I don’t care. And I’m deathly afraid that once I start the conversation you won’t stop and then I’ll be stuck pretending to be interested in you for the next 13 hours when all I want to do is sleep. So I say nothing.
Why can’t there be more people like me?
I’m going to start a match.com for frequent flyers. Everyone has a profile, and you can pick who you do and don’t want to sit next to based on several qualities. Be it business related, you could sit by those in similar industries, it could be a fantastic networking opportunity. Or if you’re going on vacation, you want to meet other people going to your same destination with similar interests. Or perhaps you just don’t want to get stuck next to the guy who farts or the crying baby.
(No flight of mine is complete without a crying baby. There was one on each of my two flights. The second flight was the worst, because the biggest baby I’ve ever seen was sitting right in front of me, leaning over the back of his mom’s seat and screaming in my face for about an hour. I have never stared at someone’s tonsils for so long...)
There will be a short questionnaire that asks important travel questions such as…
Do you smack your food loudly when you chew or do you have other disgusting eating habits?
Do you laugh obnoxiously at movies only you can hear and disturb others?
Do you wear your shirt unbuttoned so your robust belly hangs out?
Do you wear your pants so low you expose half of your hairy bum to all those in a 5 foot radius?
Do you behave like a child, even though you’ve got to be somewhere around 40?
Seemingly random questions, yet the man who sat next to me, Baby Huey, would have answered “yes” to them all.
I had actually seen him while everyone was boarding the plane. He cut in front of about 50 people, and ran/waddled to the front of the line. I immediately thought… “wow, that guy is an ass. Sucks for whoever has to sit next to him…”
Then I found my seat…
Luckily, I have 5 more weeks before I have to deal with this problem again...
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Remember about a year ago, when we were invaded by bugs and I claimed that if killing bugs was an Olympic sport I would be the Michael Phelps of bug killing?
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I had to share this...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My neighbors are punishing me, and I don't know why.
WTF? These are Google's suggestions for "why"?