Me: What are you doing?
Lee: Checking my fantasy football...
Me: Ugh.... (Really, I love fantasy football... but I'm not in a league this year because the boys are tired of playing me with because I always beat them... so now I'm bitter when he spends hours deciding whether or not he should trade Braylon Edwards... Especially because I told Lee to trade him 2 seconds after I found out he was on his team... because he sucks. I had him two year in a row, and he sucked.)
Lee: *ignoring me*
Me: Well, I'll just send out a hilariously awesome tweet to all my followers... because they rock! (All 24 of them)
Lee: Don't do that.
Me: Ummm... why not?
Lee: Because you're drunk... and what you think is funny now, is probably not really funny.
Me: Well, you're probably not funny...
TheUndomesticHWI'm a little bit drunk.. Lee said i should just say nothing instead of the awesome tweet i was gonna leave...
TheUndomesticHWI bet you wish you knew what it was now huh?!?!
TheUndomesticHWNow you'll never know...
TheUndomesticHWBlame Lee... that's what I always do.
Awesome... Tweeting should be on the list of things you should never do after drinking... along with driving, texting and ex's.
At this point I think I'm really clever so I turn to Lee to be a smart ass and find him like this...
This man has the ability to fall asleep mid-sentence... It looks like he fell asleep mid-mouse move... It seems to me that maybe he was the one who was a little bit drunk...
And P.S.... Mr. Bigg looks terrified. It's probably from my evil laughter. I took several of these pictures and each one was funnier than the last. I of course chose the most flattering picture to post here because I do not in fact, want to get divorced.
Me: I can't believe he is asleep. This is ridiculous. I'll show him... I am not drunk... just hilarious.
(This is about the time when I think it would be a good idea to change the web page he is looking at... that way when he wakes up... he'll see it and be all confused and it will be awesome... because apparently... that is hilarious.)
Me: Hmmm.... let's see... www.yourestupid.com... hahaha. Wait... What? www.yourestupid.com is not a web site? What the heck? You would think somebody would want that.... hmmm... ok... www.youredumb.com What?! That's not one either... well that sucks... Hmmm. hahahahahaha... I know!
5:30 am... the alarm goes off.
Lee: Why were you looking at porn on my computer?
Me: Huh? Oh I wasn't... I guess you were.... hahahaha. See... hilarious.
And this just in... now I only have 23 followers... someone un-followed me... jerk. See... Don't drink and tweet.