Monday, September 14, 2009

Do Not Disturb

Lee has a long weekend coming up because the Philippines recognizes Eid ul Fitr as a national holiday. Which I think is a little strange since it is an Islamic holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, and the Philippines is a nation made up of about 80% Roman Catholics, 15% Protestants and less than 5% Muslims. But whatever... I think Filipinos will use any excuse to throw a party. Which totally works for me!

Any how, I want to spend the weekend at the beach and this seems like the perfect time to do it, so I've been checking out the different resort options.

Now, we've stayed at hotels in Manila, which all have the typical standard when it comes to accommodations and amenities. But I've noticed some big differences in what many hotels and resorts claim as amenities in other parts of the province. Many are quite different from what I have been accustomed too.

Things that shouldn't be considered amenities but are anyway:

1. Aircon.

First of all, in Texas, air conditioning isn't considered an amenity... it comes standard... it's freakin' hot. You don't even need to mention it on the list of amenities, because it's expected.

It's like saying, "Oh, and we will be providing you a bed to sleep on!!"

Umm... duh.

Second of all.... Aircon?? Everybody says that here, and it drives me nuts. I hate it when people abbreviate words that don't need to be abbreviated, and I really hate it when people abbreviate words incorrectly. If we have to abbreviate air conditioner, at least say A/C...

A/C is acceptable, Aircon is not.


2. Hot and Cold Water

This amenity is one with great bragging rights. And hotel employees will no doubt brag about it when it is available. This sounds like a no brainer too... it's not. In the states, you turn on the water... anywhere... sink, bath tub, shower... and you have two options, hot or cold. You even get really fancy... with all your warm and cool temperatures in the middle.

Do not take this for granted.

3. Private Bathroom

All I can say is I better get a private bathroom. What is this the dorms? Yes, I realize many hostels have community bathrooms, but I'm staying at a beach front resort... not a hostel. And I don't think we even have hostels in the States... that seems like more of a European thing... We Americans need our privacy.

You'll be lucky if you get:

1. TV

Most of the places don't have one. Especially if you are staying near the beach... which I guess makes sense, because you probably didn't go to the beach to watch TV. But what the hell, do they expect me and Lee to do when we are finished at the beach... talk to each other? Right....

2. Matching Sheets and Plenty of Blankets

Lee and I stayed at this one hotel on our road trip that didn't have matching sheets. The pillow cases were plaid, and the sheets were some funky flowered print. It was like going to stay with some weird relative. Then they gave of us, one tiny scratchy blanket.

Which I still hogged all night even though it was tiny and scratchy.

But they probably at least wash them. Unlike those sperm blankets that live in US hotel rooms. I know you've seen that 20/20 special or Nightline when they bust in the hotel with the black lights. Now, that's the scariest thing I've ever seen.

(That's why you should always stay at Hiltons because they use duvets... which is genius!)

So in this case tiny scratchy blanket may be better than bodily fluid blanket.

3. No Bugs

Cockroach in my hotel room in the States....

- Find Bug
- Scream...
- Call Front Desk
- Scream some more.
- Maintenance comes to the room.
- Scream some more.
- Request to change rooms.
- Expect many apologies... and maybe some free room service.
- Then possibly switch hotels.

Cockroach in my hotel room in the Philippines...

- Find bug..
- Kill it.
- Sweet! There was only one.

No bugs here is a major bonus.

So, five months in and I think I'm actually getting used to this. I may be on a beach vacation with no TV, bed sheets circa 1976, and plenty of bugs... but hey, I'm on a beach vacation!