Friday, August 7, 2009

Ugly pictures cause ugly babies

So... I was reading one of my books on the Philippines, when I came across a section on Filipino superstitions and taboos. Apparently Filipinos are a very superstitious people especially when it comes to procreation. Basically... these people are involved in some craziness...

During pregnancy...

- The pregnant mother must get whatever food she desires, so as to prevent a miscarriage.
- She should not stand by doors because it could cause a difficult labor.
- She should not look at ugly pictures because it could make her baby ugly.
(hahaha... I love that one. )
- She can't have her picture taken because it could cause a stillbirth.
- She must wear black and sleep with her legs tightly closed to repel bad spirits.
(Because sleeping with her legs open attracts them? Actually, I bet it's true. The combination of sleeping with her legs open and bad spirits is probably what got her in this situation in the first place. )

After birth...

- After birth, the placenta should be buried with a pen and paper, because it is believed it will make the baby smart. ( I will keep my opinions to myself on the effectiveness of this ritual...)
- The babies hair and fingernail clippings should be placed in the pages of a bible to ensure they are obedient and God-fearing.
- The mother uses the baby's first urine on her hair to prevent it from falling out when she gets old. (Seriously... she washes her hair in baby pee. That's gross.)

Ok... this next one you aren't going to believe... so I will quote from the book... I had to read it three or four times because I couldn't believe what I was reading...

"The baby's first feces is massaged onto its infant gums like toothpaste to ensure strong teeth."

Are you freaking kidding me?! They make their babies eat their own shit?! (Excuse my language... but that is the only word that can be used in a situation like this.)

They use shit for toothpaste.

This is outrageous!

I would rather have all my teeth fall out then have someone rub crap in my mouth... it makes me gag just thinking about it. What kind of a person puts feces in a babies mouth? Plus, they used the word "massaged," that some how makes it worse...

There are several other things the mother must do... like not bathe for two weeks, and she can't watch television for a month after the birth because it could cause blindness... or something like that, but nothing compares to the poo, so I won't bore you with the rest.

They end the article by stating that many modern Filipinos don't necessarily believe in all of these superstitions, but they, "would rather be safe than sorry in tempting fate."

So basically... there are still some shit eating babies around here...
Gah... I'm going to be thinking about this all day...