Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Life's a Garden, Dig it.

Do you ever feel like you are just pretending to be a grown up?

I swear... sometimes I feel like I'm playing the longest game of "house" ever... and one day I'm going to wake up... turn off my Easy-Bake oven, and go back to thinking boys have cooties. (Which they do. And whoever tells you different is a liar.)

Today was one of those days where I felt like a fraud.

I think it's because I am starting an herb garden.

(I feel so relieved to say that. It's like I'm at a meeting, "Hello my name is Keely, and I have an herb garden.")

An herb garden?

Who does that?

Mom's do that... that's who.

And not even my Mom...

I've never liked the idea of gardening. You are basically playing in the dirt, in the heat, with bugs. And in my case it would probably be a huge waste of time because I would forget to water them and they would die. Because I would get distracted by something much more interesting like watching paint dry.

So why did I decide to do this??

I blame cilantro.

Cilantro is God's gift to Mexican food. How can a girl even attempt to make the number one thing missing from her filipino life without cilantro?

Eventually I found some... but it's really hit or miss, so I decided I would just grow it on my own, and have it any time.

How hard could it be?

Well, I never found out because I never even tried. I have everything I need.

Seeds, soil, pots... (Hell, I think that's all I need...)

Ultimately, I think it's my fear of failure that has kept the bag of gardening crap in the back of a closet.

But today I found this amazing place in Tagaytay, called Gourmet Cafe. It's a great restaurant with an organic farm where they grow all their own vegetables, herbs, rice... etc. to make their own salads, sandwiches, soups and pastas.

They also sell potted herbs... hence the herb garden.

Well, I got a little over zealous and now I have basil, dill, parsley and cilantro coming out of my ears and all over my kitchen table.

I haven't a clue where to start. I sprayed them with a water bottle, because frankly, that was the only thing that crossed my mind. But my basil already looks sad and weepy.

To makes things worse... I bought a bonsai tree. Don't get me wrong the bonsai tree completely and totally rocks. It's looks exactly like what you would imagine when somebody says, "bonsai tree." Well, it did to me anyway...

Apparently, bonsai trees are a little on the high maintenance side... (imagine that... I pick a high maintenance tree...) and I haven't the slightest idea what to do with that either.

I even Googled.

But then I got too distracted by cat poop. (Sounds random? Yes. But it's not. More on that later.)

So basically... this pointless story comes down to the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm sending out a plea to all for help.

Dear Garden Moms or other people that garden that aren't moms... but I can't imagine who you are, but whatever that's not the point,

I am a hopeless gardener, so for the first, and probably last time, I humbly ask for your green thumb advice. I have been responsible for my indoor herb garden for approximately 7 hours and the outlook is not good.
Additionally, if it's not too much trouble, would you please tell me what the hell I'm actually supposed to cook with basil, dill, and parsley? You see, I'm trying to trick my husband into thinking I actually know what I'm doing... but it is becoming more and more apparent that he will probably be eating, "mud pie" just like all the other husbands of my Play Skool past.
So for his sake, and for mine your guidance is appreciated.

The Undomesticated Housewife