MAC Down

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

I am amid a crisis.

Please read the following email I sent to Lee...

***

Subject: God Help MAC

MAC is sick.

He has been sent away to Apple hospital, recovery will be at least a week.

The prognosis doesn't look good.

I feel slightly panicky...

Full blown hysteria is imminent.

Keely

***

My computer is gone. And anyone who knows me, knows that I would have rather given Apple my left arm than my computer. I have been wandering aimlessly for the past 48 hours...

To make matters worse, my computer held all recently written blog entries that have yet to be published, along with the coinciding pictures and video. Not to mention the brand new header, which I spent hours making, for all entries about my state side adventures.

When the screen went black, I thought... "no big deal, at least I'm in the states... I'll just go down to the Apple store and have one of their "geniuses" fix it. Easy."

Mac "Genius" : Hmmm... ahhh. Uh oh.

Me: (Watching him nervously... growing more and more anxious by the second... He's got to be screwin' with me right? I mean, he is a "genius" it's his job. Press some buttons... work your magic... DO YOUR JOB!)

Mac "Genius" : Yeah... We're gonna need to send your computer off, and we can't guarantee all your information will still be there when your computer gets back. Do you have all your information backed up?

&*$%!

No...

And I just bought a new hard drive for this very reason. What have I put on it so far??

Season 1-6 of Friends... because that's far more important than anything I've been working on for the last year. Idiot.

I'm still waiting for the nausea to subside.

New posts coming soon... Hopefully.

Red Light - Green Light

Friday, January 29, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

I have one word for the parking garage in the Mall of Asia.

Genius.

(I bet you didn't think I was going to say that...)

But seriously, they have a red light - green light system that tells you which row has spots available.

Genius! Right?

I've never seen a parking garage like this before. I usually drive up and down the rows... aimlessly looking for a spot. Ten minutes later... I find one! Close to the end... I speed down the aisle only to find that my "empty spot" is actually taken.

Damn you mini cooper...

I marvel at this parking garage every time we go there.

Bravo, Philippines. Bravo.

Filipino Billboard

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

Driving into Manila...

Lee: Ha! Look at that sign...

Me: I feel whiter and gay each day... O-M-G.

Lee: Yeah, I had to read it like 3 times... Because I was all, 'there is no way, that it really says that...' But then I was looking at it... and he is white... and pretty gay, so... I guess it makes sense.

Me: hahahaha... only in the Philippines...

30 Day Shred

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

When I came back from the states in November, I was seriously committed to getting in better shape. I came back to the Philippines complete with diet books and exercise videos.

Lee: So, what are we doing this time?

Me: Well, I bought "The Zone," sounds intense right? And, Jillian Michael's... 30. Day. Shred.

I took our height, weight and wrist measurements and then went on to calculate our body fat percentages and lean body mass, which determines the number of protein blocks our bodies require daily.

Me: According to my calculations, The Zone says you need 20 blocks of protein per day.

Lee: I don't even know what that means...

Me: A block of protein is...

Lee: Yeah, I'm not going to do that... I'll just eat better

Me: *glare*

Lee: You always do this... you always go to extremes and it only lasts for a week before you freak out and go right back to eating cheeseburgers.

Me: We'll see.

***

Then we started the video. Jillian's video is a 3 level system, and you do each level for 10 days. Each workout is only 30 minutes long so we decided we would get up early and do it before Lee goes to work. Because then... according to Lee...

Lee: Then I can come home after work and lift, and do a real workout.

Whatever. If his profuse sweating is any indication of a "real" work out, then Jillian is a real as it gets...

***

Me: Hey, I saw that you started keeping track of our workout days on the mirror. So I added our names, current weight, and body fat percentages.

Lee: Yeah, I saw that. I can't believe you wrote your weight up there... where people could see it. HA!

Me: *glare*

Lee: Yeah, that sounded better in my head.

***

Every morning started like this...

4:45 am - My alarm goes off.... SNOOZE.

4:50 am - My alarm goes off.... SNOOZE.

4:55 am - Lee's alarm goes off... He gets up.

(Frankly, I don't know how he does it. As a personal rule, I have to hit the snooze button at least one time.)

5:00 am -

Lee: Hey, are you gonna get up?

Me: Ugh! Yeah...

5:10 am - I get up stairs... Lee is waiting.

Lee: You are going to have to start getting up earlier if you are planning to get all cute before we work out.

Me: Cute? I'm not trying to get cute... these are my work out clothes... and I have to wear shoes. I don't see how you work out barefoot.

Lee: If God had meant for me not to go barefoot, then he would have made me with shoes.

Me: Seriously...?

***

All week Lee complains...

Lee: You really should get up before I do.

Me: Nope.

Lee: Yes. I have to wait on you every morning.

Me: *shrug*

Lee: You need to get up first so you can get ready, otherwise I'm just upstairs waiting on you about to fall asleep.

Me: We work out at 5 o'clock in the morning... when my alarm goes off, I lay there hoping you won't get up... because that means I don't have to get up. But once you're out of bed... I know my fate is sealed. I'm not going to willingly get dressed and work out... it's still dark outside. So, no... you have to get up first.

***

That next Wednesday I wake up before my alarm goes off... why? I don't know. But it gives me a good opportunity to get up first. I get dressed, get water, put my shoes on...

I'm so good.

Me: Hey, get up.

Lee: *silence*

Me: Hey, I'm ready and it's time to work out.

Lee: *incoherent mumbling*

Me: Are you going to get up? (I get back in bed.)

An hour later Lee has to get up for work...

Me: Hey! I got up before you did and you didn't wake up!! AND... I fell asleep with my shoes on!!! I hate that! Never again Lee, Never. Again.

Lee: *Smirk*

***

Our workout crusade lasted for a couple weeks, then the holidays came and we ate ourselves stupid just like everybody else. There is a reason people wait until January 1 to start losing weight...

Soaked...

Monday, January 18, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

As Lee was walking out the door to go to work...

Lee: Got any plans today?

I'm thinking:

"Well, I have plans to go back to sleep once you leave. It's 6:30 in the morning... it's barely light outside... I see no reason why I should be awake. When I wake back up at a normal hour... I'll probably eat... play on the internet... dance around the house... sing to my dog... ya know... the usual."

But I say...

Me: There's a bunch of stuff I need to do around the house, plus some things on the computer I need to work on.... (Big smile.... I wonder if he know I'm lying? hmm.)

Lee: Alright... well the laundry is piling up...

I'm thinking...

"I guess that's a hint... But hey... at least I've tried to do the laundry... you've never even attempted it. So... I'll just ignore that..."

But I say...

Me: Well, have a good day!

***

I couldn't go back to sleep... so I ate... played on the internet... danced around the house... and sang to Mr. Bigg. I have officially completed everything on my agenda for the day and it's only 10 a.m.

Ugh!

I'm NOT doing laundry. Laundry always puts me in a bad mood. Plus, it takes all day to do!

But...the laundry is kind of over-flowing.

Ugh!

I decided to do a small load... that wouldn't take too long... plus I'll just do easy things, like t-shirts.

Me: Oookkk....Laundry.... Nothing scary under the steps? Check. Machine plugged in? Check. Clothes? Check. Water? Water... why isn't the water working...

Go out by the car and turn the water on.

Me: Sweet. Water? Check. Wait, why is there water on the floor? Ugh! Seriously? It's leaking... terrific. Hmm... now that I think about, I think Chat said that the faucet was leaking... oh well, I guess I'm technically outside... it will dry. Ok, moving on... Soap? Check. Hmmm... more soap? Check. Machine working? Check. Alright, so far so good... WOAH! That was close... I'm almost busted my ass... there's water on the floor.

Ten minutes later...

Me: Hmm... those look clean enough. I'll just put them in the spinner, and then on to round two. Clothes in spinner... spinner on... hmm... spinner not working. This is not good. Chat didn't mention this... Hmm... clothes back in washing machine. New water? Check. Fabric softener? Check.

***

Clothes soaking while I text Chat...

Me: Text - "Has the spinner on the washing machine been broken for a while?"

Chat: Text - "[The] spinner doesn't work well, i just push it with my hand"

(WTF? She just pushes it with her hand?! There is no way I could push it that fast... that is never going to work...)

Chat: Text - "When u spin it, u push it on top of [the] spinner i tell that 2 noli, i will remind 2 lina 2 check it 2mrow."

(I wonder how long this has been broken... I feel like an ass... but I know she didn't tell me this...)

Me: Text - "I'm sorry Chat, i didn't know the spinner was broken, I would have had someone fix it a long time ago!"

***

Me: Ok... so I'm supposed to spin it... while pushing the top... but there is no top! And spinning it is not doing anything.... These clothes are never going to dry, they are soaking wet... and it's starting to rain. This is ridiculous. I guess I could just wring them out by hand... that's going to take forever.

Chat: Ma'am?

Me: Chat!!

She must have known that this wouldn't end well...

Chat: Hehehehehe Ma'am, what are you doing?

Me: I doonn't knoooww. I'm trying to help...

At this point... I feel like a small child whose parent's caught them in a sea of bubbles because they put the wrong soap in the dishwasher...

I am half way in the spinner... trying to spin the hamper... I'm soaking wet, there is water all over the floor, a pile of soaking wet clothes on top of the washer, and another pile of clothes squished into several tiny balls as I try to get all the water out.

Me: I'm trying to spin the spinner... but it's not working.

Chat: Oh, Ma'am...

I watch as she puts all the clothes back in the spinner... turns it on... closes the lid... and presses on the lid. All of a sudden... the spinner starts spinning!

Me: Oooohhh. Thanks Chat... You're a life saver...

Chat: I think Ma'am that maybe you do too much laundry... you just let me do.

Me: Ok, Chat! I'll be sure I tell that to Lee.

A Weighty Issue

Friday, January 15, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

I went and got a mani/pedi today at my new favorite place in the mall. I've been only once before, about a month ago...

Nail Lady: Hello Ma'am! I'm so glad you came back

Me: Oh, well thanks. You did a great job last time.

Nail Lady: You gained weight since last time I saw you.

Me: What?

(Obviously, there is a bit of a communication problem. I've lost a whole three pounds since New Year's. Misunderstanding... no big deal... try again.)

Nail Lady: I think you gain weight since last time you here.

Me: Ha!

(Well, I think that's a pretty ballsy statement.... but more importantly, I think you just cut your tip in half!)

Note: Flattery and compliments will get you everywhere... lie if you must.

The Saga...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Posted by The Undomesticated Housewife

So, I read the Twilight Saga...

I loved it...

and I am not ashamed.

So there... I have gone public with my obsession against the wishes of a "wise" friend.

(Obviously, his words... not mine.)

***

Twilight is not typically a book I would pick up, after all, it is a book written for teens... but I kept hearing about it from everyone... and the second movie had just come out... and what else do I have to do except read four, four inch books?

So if you have tried to call me in the last month and you got the machine... now you know why...

I started cataloguing my new obsession here... and FYI... if you haven't read the books and you plan on reading them, skip this post because there are major spoilers :)

Twilight:

December 10, 2009-

Facebook Status: started reading Twilight... 3 chapters in and I'm already wishing Lee was a vampire.

I think Lee both loved and hated the Twilight disease... he loved it because I didn't bother him when he got home from work. Usually it goes...

Mr. Bigg howls... Lee opens door...

Me: Hey! How was your day?

Lee: Blah Blah Blah

Me: Sweet. What do you want to do now? Talk to me! Entertain me! I've been here all day!

Annoying? Probably.

During Twilight...

Mr. Bigg howls... Lee opens door...

Me: Hey! How was your day?

Lee: Blah Blah Blah

Me: Sweet.

Lee: Ok, well... I'm going to go upstairs and play football.

Me: Sounds great! I'll be in the bathtub with my vampire!

Lee: *weird look*

He hated it because I felt it necessary to keep him up to date with the latest news from Forks... and as soon as I was finished with book one I made him watch the movie. Which might not have been so bad if I didn't pause it every five minutes to tell him how it really happened.

*pause movie*

Me: Hey! Are you paying attention? This part is important.

Lee: Yeah... (working on his computer... not paying attention.)

*play movie*

*pause movie*

Me: Ugh! Edward is way cuter than that... they made him look weird! Doesn't he look weird?

Lee: Mmmm...hmmm...

*play movie*

*pause movie*

Me: Ok... that conversation they just had was really like four or five conversations, but they just rolled into one... which is stupid because now its like... hey, you're in my class, you freaked out, you saved my life, I love you, oh you're a vampire...? No big deal. This movie sucks!

Lee: Mmmm....hmmm...

*play movie*

*pause movie*

Me: Do you even understand what's going on... they totally butchered this! What really happened was...

Lee: Would you just play the movie?

Me: Ok... but you just don't even know how much they skipped.

Lee: It's a movie. It can't be six hours long...

Me: Whatever...

*play movie*

***

(Hilarious)

***

New Moon-

I was walking through the mall when I round the corner and see Edward on the New Moon movie poster...

Me: Asshole.

Random guy turns around...

Oops.

I just smile...

Because what am I going to say... "oh not you... You see, Edward left Bella. He told her he doesn't love her any more... I mean, we all know he really does, he is just doing it for her safety... because well, he is a vampire and all... but he should know better. The other vampires are just going to come after her, and she is miserable without him... soo... Edward is the asshole not you... Yes. Yes, I was talking to a movie poster. Yes. Yes, I might be insane."

***

Lee: I talked to my mom today... I told her you were reading Twilight... she read it too.

Me: She did! Did you ask her if she ever wished that your dad was a vampire?!

Lee: No. No, I forgot to ask that...

Me: You should ask her.

Lee: No. No, I don't think I will.

***

Eclipse-

I'm laying on the bed reading... (The usual)

Lee jumps on the bed...

Lee: I waanntt to suuck your blooood!

Me: Ha! Real vampires don't say that.

Lee: Oh, God. Real vampires...? Vampires were around way before Twilight.

Me: Well, of course. But most of those things about vampires are myths... like crosses... or garlic... or how you have to invite them in... myths.

Lee: Really? No crosses or garlic... that sucks.

Me: I know.

***

Me: Oh no!

Lee: What?

Me: Well, Edward and Bella are getting married, because Edward says they have to before he'll turn her into a vampire and before they can have sex... Well, he sent a wedding invitation to Jacob... you remember Jacob...?

Lee: uh huh...

Me: ...Bella's hot werewolf best friend... who loves her, and she loves him... but not as much as she loves Edward. So she picked Edward... like she should have, because she can't live without him and they are getting married....?? Anyway, Edward sent him a wedding invitation, that said something about how he was breaking the rules by sending it to him, because Bella didn't want Jacob to feel obligated to go, but if Bella would have picked Jacob then Edward would have wanted the option... so now... Jacob is really upset... and he turned into wolf and he is roaming the forest and says he never wants to go back to being a human!!! (All said in one breath...)

Lee: You are hearing yourself right?

Me: Yeah... it does sound sorta stupid when I say it out loud... but really it's not.

***

Breaking Dawn:

December 29, 2009

Me: Text - "Holy Guacamole! Bella is pregnant with a vampire baby!"

Lee: Text - "Nerd."

Me: Text - ":)"

***

Lee: So, when we go back to the states we have a five our lay over in Seattle. But there is an earlier flight, so I'm hoping we can get on that one instead.

Me: Five hours huh? Well, maybe we could just drive over to Forks and see what Bella and Edward are up to!

Lee: *stares*

Me: ha. ha. Of course, I'm just kidding!

(Not really... If anyone wants to pick me up and take me to Forks, I get to Seattle at noon on January 15th...)

***

Three weeks and three days after starting the saga I finished it...

Me: Well, I finished Twilight today... (Depressed.)

Lee: Wow. How was it?

Me: Amazing. Happily ever after and all that.

Lee: Now what are you going to do?

Me: I have no idea...

I'm open to suggestions.